Dhalgren

 

Corrections for the Vintage Books edition of DHALGREN, 3rd, 4th, and 5th printings.

 

The basic master correction list was compiled and annotated by Ron Drummond (as of 30 May 2002) in consultation with the author. (The third [as well as 4th and 5th] Vintage printing[s] contains 110 corrections—and at least one new error [791/(rubric) 16]—that the 1st and 2nd Vintage Books printings do not.) The list was up-dated over 2003 with corrections by Maurizio Natti and the Delany Listserve (Yahoo Groups), in the course of helping Natti with his Italian translation of Dhalgren. Subsequently it was supplemented with corrections by Kevin Donaker-Ring. The current version of this list is approved and authorized by Samuel R. Delany.

 

The location of an error is given by a page / paragraph / line number. This is followed by the correct reading of the line (or lines), with an explanation of the error(s) to be corrected in square brackets below.

 

VIII/epigraph:

[Without changing the left/right placement of the epigraph, move the epigraph up a few lines, so that the baseline of the second line is in rough alignment with the baseline of "Prism, Mirror, Lens" in the table of contents on the facing page (page IX).]

 

11/9/6:

flecked rubber mat, over the sill to the pavement.

[Delete comma after "flecked".]

17/19/1:

He came down two more steps: his engineer's boots, hitting the

[Lowercase "h" in "His".]

17/19/2:

boards, sounded like dropped sandbags. Wrinkled black jeans were

[Replace hyphen in "black-jeans" with a word-space."]

18/2/1:

Loufer came down the last step, to the pavement. "Well, Tak Loufer's

[Change the comma after "pavement" to a period.]

19/7/1:

Tak laughed. "I'm not going to press for it, Kid. But I think it's

[Change "Loufer" to "Tak". Make sure the paragraph remains two lines, despite the loosened first line.]

20/13/7:

became smoke, lobbling from a windowsill set with glass teeth like an

[Insert a second "b" in "lobling". Make "window sill" one word.]

28/14/1:

The harmonica was silent: the bare-breasted girl had gone from her

[Lowercase "t" in the second "The".]

38/4/1:

"Funny." Tak shook his head in self-reproach. "The way you just as-

[Change the semi-colon after "self-reproach" to a period.]

43/7/3:

Weekend in Hell: A True Story of the Angels, as Told by Millicent Brash

[Three changes: 1) replace the comma after "Hell" with a colon; 2) capitalize the "a" in "a True Story"; and 3) insert a comma after "Angels".]

59/8/4:

Then he ran again: throat raw, he wailed again.

[Lowercase "t" in "Throat".]

59/18/1:

His mouth snapped. Sound to deafen built behind his teeth.

[Remove "T" from "This". Capitalize "His".]

63/9/2:

you think about that?" and didn't know how he would have interpret-

[Change ":" to "?".]

67/19/2:

wander up and see if somebody would invite me in." He paused. "Of

[Italicize "me".]

69/last two paragraphs:

The old man held the end of the chain close to see: ". . . Japan?" then
extended the end for him to look.

[Make these two paragraphs a single paragraph.]

70/16/2 [counting centered text near page's top as two paragraphs]:

had been gathering seconds, now, broke overhead. They looked up.

[Make "over head" one word.]

71/7/2:

somebody interview him; and he printed everything. Now if you ask

[Change "every thing" (two words) to "everything" (one word).]

72/6/3:

ing about some kid who got on the roof of the Second City Bank build-

[Capitalize the "b" in "bank".]

74/10/1:

“But . . . How do you know when it’s Sunday?”

[Replace period at the end with question mark.]

76/1/1:

luted soup (salty!), he looked from the paper he'd taken from Faust to

[Delete comma after "Faust".]

78/9/1:

to wound the autumnal city.

[Insert period after "city".]

80/1/3:

ROGER CALKINS.

[Insert period after "CALKINS".]

89/9/1:

Behind him, music began, staticky as an old radio, more like some-

[Insert "k" in "staticy".]

89/9/2:

body's wind-up Victrola. He turned in front of the rest-room door.

[Two changes: 1) captal "v" in "victrola"; and 2) insert hypen in "rest room".]

96/7/1:

"Oh, shit, was that her name?"

[Change exclamation point after "name" to a question mark.]

97/15/1:

Hm?” She looked again.

[Italicize “Hm?”]

102/7/2:

He walked up to the balustrade, fingering his fly and mumbling, "Shit,"

[Change exclamation point after "Shit" to a comma.]

109/1/4:

emerge from Oceania, was born in Auckland in 1916. Sent to school

[Insert "i" in "Oceana".]

111/4/2:

line NEW BOY IN TOWN! was a picture of a thin white-haired man in a

[Two changes: 1) delete comma after "line"; and 2) delete comma after "TOWN" and replace it with an exclamation-point. Also, please note the following things that should not change: the headline must not be broken between lines; the headline must be in small caps, not the large I've used here; and, most importantly, please note the tiny letter-space separating "NEW" and "BOY"—this slight kerned separation must be retained as it currently appears in the printed text.]

113/12/3:

the long-hair thing seriously. Just clean yourself up a little—though it

[Tie up long-dash with "though".]

113/15/1:

“It’s a good job?”

[Replace period with a question mark.]

115/12/3:

Now she folded her hands. "But I'll tell you something: and, really

[Remove comma after "really".]

116/13/3:

this time deasil.

[Change "diesel" to "deasil".]

121/17/1-2:

"The Labry Apartments," he went on. "Four hundred 36th
Street, apartment 17-E. I'm supposed to go up there this

[Two changes: 1) change "Thirty-sixth" to "36th"; and 2) change "seventeen-E" to "17-E" (cf. 113.16.3 and 116/8-9). Paragraph will of course re-wrap.]

122/14/1:

He opened the left: a web of shadows swept over a floor he first

[Two changes: 1) lowercase the first "A"; and 2) change "on" to "over."]

124/5/1:

They both looked down at the Acrilan.

[Correct spelling of "Acrilan".]

124/22/1:

A rattling, with thumps, moved outside in the hall: then, someone

[Lowercase "T" in "Then".]

129/last line on the page:

Mrs Richards' hand, grey as twigs from fire, hung against the wall

[I hate to do it, but delete the point after "Mrs." (In an ideal universe, we would keep the point and add a point to every one of the hundreds of other Mr's and Mrs's in the book; but, alas, this is not an ideal universe.)]

135/24/1:

For all her light-eyed ash-blondness, her expression was incredibly

[Delete the comma after "light-eyed".]

145/8/4:

cuticle, with pen. He sighed, served himself when the dishes were passed to

[Two changes: 1) insert "were" after "dishes"; 2) insert "to" after "passed". Paragraph will re-wrap.]

145/8/5:

him, passed them on, and ate. His free hand, back beneath the table-

[Insert comma after "hand". (Please note: The line reading here is based on the original wrapping of the paragraph, which will have already changed due to the changes in line 4 above.)]

145/10/1-2:

It was inside, in the kitchen, on the table by the chair; he could see
it beyond her elbow. "I just write things down."

[On line one, after "inside," insert the clause "in the kitchen," (with comma). Paragraph will re-wrap.]

149/11/1:

"I'd like to work with . . . mentally disturbed children—like you."

[Change the exclamation-point after "you" to a period.]

161/4/1:

"I said I just wanted to leave off some presents, and could he please

[Transpose "he" and "could", so that "he could" reads "could he".]

165/10/1:

She did not demand a name. What does this confidence mean?

[The first word here should be “She” rather than “He”.]

170/1/5:

receptions by people who ranged from Richards to Newboys . . . The twig

[Replace long-dash after "Newboys" with a three-point ellipsis.]

174/3/8:

ly, and sank in them. "Maybe it is just me." He looked around the room

[Italicize "is".]

179/3/2:

Leather and wet flesh: he might as well throw it away. But the tab

[Lowercase "h" in "He".]

180/8/1:

The second voice was familiar. Kidd looked for it.

[Replace final colon with "."]

181/7/1:

The boy from the shower stooped to buckle his boots. "Give you

[Make "showers" singular.]

181/14/1:

Thirteen went on: "I just been here a couple of weeks. I mean in this

[Replace comma after "on" with a colon.]

188/9/6:

sharpest blade on that orchid of yours, soon as I ain't lookin', between

[Insert apostrophe after "lookin".]

191/12/3:

at all. “Sure. What do I owe you for . . . this?” One hand in his pocket,

[“this” should be followed by a question mark.]

193/17/1:

"Um . . . it looks very nice." He tried to fix the warmth inside him;

[Two changes: 1) italicize "Um"; 2) change the comma after "him" to a semi-colon.]

195/5/2:

fog outside the windows was almost solid. He watched: she stood, head

[Lowercase "s" in "She".]

205/10/1:

(Squatting, watching. Curiosity and alarm resolved into a sort of self-

[Two changes: 1) change the semi-colon after "watching" to a period; and 2) capitalize the "c" in "curiosity".]

205/12/2:

had steps below it), Lanya—hair, nose, chin, shoulders—emerged.

[Insert comma after "it)".]

212/4/6:

his back muscles cramped—"Blam! And the sky gonna go dark and

[Make "Blam" italic (but not the open-quote or the exclamation-point).]

215/5/3:

here . . . ?" and took his hand.

[Replace long-dash and the word-space following it with a three-point ellipsis.]

215/15/4:

raped—was that Milly?"

[Tie up long-dash with "was".]

216/7/4:

monastery; but he'd pretty well decided it couldn't have been—"when I saw

[Insert the word "pretty" between "he'd" and "well".]

220/14/4:

head and pink reflection fuzzed in the polish, she seemed wholly at home

[Two changes: 1) change long-dash after "polish" to a comma; and 2) change "as" to "wholly". Paragraph will of course re-wrap.]

224/3/5:

was India black; his, dark blue.

[Change "Indian" to "India".]

224/13/2:

how much you have done."

[Italicize "have".]

224/17/2:

17-E to 19-A."

[Change spelled-out numbers to arabic numerals.]

225/2/1:

“It isn’t a bomb. I was in Ensenada, in Mexico, just a week or so

["Encenadas” should be “Ensenada”.]

227/9/2:

more; just colored confetti. You better let Kidd take the TV. You help

[Change "teevee" to "TV".]

238/13/4:

momma."

[Change question-mark to a period.]

241/10/1 [not counting the sub-chapter as a paragraph or line]:

He carried the nest tables into 19-A.

[Change "nineteen" to "19".]

249/4/1:

“Why . . .?” Lanya asked.

[Sentence should end with a question mark rather than an exclamation point.]

252/8/2:

you crossed and I give them to you uncrossed." His fingers, smudged

[Insert comma after "fingers".]

253/5/4:

"Maybe we'll avoid any run-ins with scorpions today," he said as they

[Change the n-dash in "run-ins" to a hyphen.]

255/11/1:

Brambles coiled the trellis. Dried tendrils cured on splintered lath.

[Remove the "e" from the end of "lathes".]

256/11/2:

flags. "At least fifteen. Maybe twenty-five. The people he has for help,

[Change the first word from "flag" to "flags".]

257/1/3:

topped by birches, maples, and, here and there, thick oaks.

[Insert comma after "maples".]

258/5/8:

hearts, is sure it does, wants it to, wishes it would. In the bar, you

[Insert comma after "hearts".]

259/1/22:

da Ponte, or 'Rodin slept here.' Three or four times you discovered a

[Corrected spelling of "da Ponte," by lower casing "d" and changing "i" to "e".]

260/1/6:

still being dazzled with bits of your own reflection, you begin to

[Two changes: 1) delete "have"; and 2) change "begun" to "begin". This and the following change will of course cause the paragraph to re-wrap.]

260/1/7:

see that it might, after all, be one-way glass—with a better view

[Change "suspect" to "see".]

260/1/8:

afforded from out there! Still, once used to it, you find the view more

[Without changing any word italicizations, make the exclamation-point roman.]

263/2/4:

to get pedantic again. I'm enjoying this. Really."

[Change "I am" to "I'm".]

267/15/3:

in this dangerous city . . . ?"

[Insert three-point ellipsis between "city" and question-mark.]

269/12/1:

When he knocked on the door, rattlings suggested it was open.

[Change "opened" to "open".]

271/21/1:

A large woman in blue corduroy began to talk again with the man

[Change "brown" to "blue".]

278/1/4:

orchid's harness jingled. "You know their kid, the boy, they just

[Delete "little".]

279/last line on the page:

irrelevantly: but blood still beat inside his ear.

[Lowercase "b" in "But".]

280/1/4:

twigs; the small stone under his heel; the hot band from the fire across

[Change "biting" to "under".]

280/4/1:

Something, or -one, was about to emerge into the clearing—he was

[Insert hyphen before "one": tie hyphen up on right but leave word-space on left.]

281/1/1:

[Make this first line of the new chapter flush left.]

283/6/1:

Tak suddenly sat forward and put his worn leather elbows on the

[Delete comma after "worn".]

284/4/5:

the worst sort of red herring."

[Make "red-herring" two words, no hyphen.]

284/5/1:

"If you're back down on Jackson, then you got him for a next-door

[Hyphenate "nextdoor".]

286/2/1:

"You," and, at the reiteration, he felt toward Frank sudden, surpris-

[Two changes: 1) insert comma after "and"; and 2) insert comma after "reiteration".]

287/16/3:

[Delete the three-point ellipsis after "David Wise"; make sure the alignment of that name and of "Phillip Edwards . . ." remains unchanged.]

289/5/2:

at the book. The poem Frank had left showing had been tentatively

[Delete comma after "showing".]

291/9/1:

"That's right. Just: Brass Orchids."

[Replace comma after "Orchids" with "period".]

295/5/1:

"Huh?" Tak laughed. "Not on your life. I doubt he puts out for any-

[Insert hyphen after "any", thus making "any one" one word.]

296/8/1:

“What is it? Tell me what happened. Tell me what it is.”

[The question mark after “happened” should be a period.]

299/2/1:

hair. “Can you talk to me about it? Tak’s right—you looked like you

[Put a question mark after “about it” instead of a period.]

299/2/1:

"At Calkins'—did you have fun?"

[Tie paragraph 2 up with paragraph 1: i.e., make this line flush left.]

304/6/2:

was working up and down the Gulf coast, as a header on the shrimp

[Capital "G" in "gulf".]

309/13/1:

“I got better things to do than scare you, lady. I just wanna talk.”

[“Lady” should have a lower case “L.”]

310/2/1:

Kidd looked up: the leopard-freckled, bearded, and redheaded spade

[Insert comma after "bearded".]

310/6/2:

you gonna do when we take him? This one’s comin’ with us, lady.”

[“Lady” should have a lowercase “L”.]

310/10/2:

a funny laugh. "Besides, your costume designer's cruddy."

[Change "Beside" to "Besides".]

311/15/1:

The leaf rolled down his shoulder, fluttered against his knee, spun

[Insert comma after "shoulder".]

312/11/3:

moved his blades across the bark. Turning his hand this way and that,

[At line's end, change the semi-colon after "that" to a comma.]

317/2/4:

turned up red spots, which pulsed, wavered, and went out.

[Insert comma after "wavered".]

317/4/5:

and blanket rolls usually piled haphazard by trees and behind fire-

[Near line's end, delete "the".]

318/14/3:

a guy. You know? But she likes to be called 'she'."

[Three changes: 1) change comma after "guy" to a period; 2) capitalize the "y" in "you"; and 3) transpose period at the end of the line so that it appears between the single-close-quote and the double-close-quote.]

318/16/2:

he repeated, as Kid bounced upright, "you're like Nightmare."

[Change "said" to "repeated".]

319/6/2:

had been driven through a back wall: snapped boards and sagging

[Change "black" to "back".]

319/9/2:

a high ladder against the corner lamppost—it was a woman he had

[Make "lamp post" one word.]

321/10/3:

three chairs, a bed, a dozen pictures on the wall from magazines (but

[Delete comma after "wall".]

324/20/1:

"Oh, no!" Bunny put the cup down—"Oh well."—then picked it

[Lowercase "t" in "Then".]

327/10/3:

membered his calling, an echo in the dim, an afterimage on the ear.

[Make "after image" one word.]

329/4/3:

the one line on the next, he had time to reconstruct, was "Three Stars

[Insert comma after "reconstruct".]

329/4/4:

says the Times." On the next, R, O, and T were stacked on top of one

[Insert comma after "next".]

329/4/7:

book, but only bumped his knuckles on blades.

[Make "knuckle" plural.]

330/6/4:

turned; through the dirty window, he saw the couple, who had not

[Insert comma after "couple".]

330/6/5:

looked at him when he'd gotten on, stop looking at him now. The

[Change "stopped" to "stop".]

330 /7/9:

in response to some unnamed embryo feeling, and he had leapt out of

[Delete the hyphen from "un-named" and tie up.]

331/9/4:

quarter-open doorway.

[Change "opened" to "open".]

331/13/1:

Somebody very black in a vinyl vest laughed loudly. For a moment

[Delete the comma after "vest".]

333/last line on the page:

tation, Glass [the black in vinyl], California, Filament, Revelation

[Two changes: 1) change open-parenthesis to an open-square-bracket; and 2) change close-parenthesis to a close-square-bracket.]

334/1/1:

[blond as Bunny but with brutally red skin], Angel, Dollar, D-t.) Fight

[Two changes: 1) change open-parenthesis to an open-square-bracket; and 2) change the first close-parenthesis to a close-square-bracket.]

334/9/5:

the bottom of more steps), quickened after him. (Worlds within worlds:

[Insert comma after "steps)".]

337/21/5:

they walked onto the silent first floor.

[Change "into" to "onto".]

338/2/5:

his head a little (the head turned a little), took a breath (the reflection

[Insert comma after "little)".]

338/2/6:

breathed); he touched his vest (the reflection touched its khaki shirt),

[Insert comma after "shirt)".]

338/2/8:

knuckle dug into its full, black beard), and blinked (its eyes blinked be-

[Insert comma after "beard)".]

338/3/6:

opened): the string dropped (the string dropped).

[Replace the comma after "opened)" with a colon.]

339/4/4:

Some feet behind, Denny, holding something in his arms, watched.

[Insert comma after "Denny".]

339/19/1:

"You bastards over here are making enough noise to scare anybody,"

[Insert "are" between "here" and "making". This will probably force the breaking of "anybody," " between lines.]

339/20/2:

fuck with me anymore, hear?"

[Make "any more" one word.]

341/14/1:

" You ain't worth shit, God-damn it! "

[Two changes, in keeping with prevailing book-style: 1) capitalize the "g" in "god"; and 2) make "God damn" a hyphenate.]

342/14/5:

ers), no longer holding his lion, clambered over them—"Watch it—!"

[Insert comma after "ers)". Please do not let the long-dash/exclamation-point/close-quote at line's end wrap down.]

344/4/3:

became as horrible as the discovered significance of what he had forgot-

[Insert "as" between "became" and "horrible".]

348/1/1:

self (the stuff in the can: cold), and carried them out to the couch, the

[Two changes: 1) insert comma after "cold)"; and 2) delete the comma after "them".]

352/1/33:

cept of the good life; therefore, if only tertiarily, it damages all my

[Replace comma after "life" with a semi-colon.]

357/15/1:

While Kid passed the half-point of the next galley, Newboy mused:

[Change "halfpoint" to "half-point".]

359/12/3:

[Change "BY" from large caps to small caps (but note that "BRASS" and "ORCHIDS" on lines 1 and 2 should remain large caps).]

360/14/2:

in so far as fiction touches life; oh no, not in any vulgar, autobio-

[Insert "in" before "so" at the beginning of the line. This set-in paragraph should then re-wrap, which will allow "autobiographical" to break at "auto-" instead of at "autobio-", which would be a good thing.]

360/14/10:

lation at all, what is this poor creature left

[Delete the three-point ellipsis and question-mark at line's end, so that there is no ending punctuation at all. Please note that this line-reading is based on the original wrapping of the paragraph, which will have changed due to the insertion made on line 2 above.]

361/2/9:

talks we've had. Do say good-bye to your little friend for me . . . ?"

[Insert three-point ellipsis between "me" and question-mark.]

361/7/2:

heart quieted. Suddenly he picked up his and Newboy's coffee cups and

[Make "cup" plural.]

361/12/3:

up an old Times and lowered himself to the couch, crossed his legs,

[Delete the comma after "Times".]

362/6/3:

Kid looked at the large, lined knuckles and thought of cracks in

[Remove second “the” before “cracks”.]

370/5/3:

followed an older man talking earnestly with a black companion; and

[Delete comma after "man".]

370/5/3:

followed an older man talking earnestly with a black companion; and

[Delete comma after "man".]

370/7/1:

Studs bright in scuffed leather, shadows slipping across his shaggy

[Delete comma after "shaggy".]

376/4/1:

"And you saw me get out of that bus earlier this evening."

[Change "this" to "that".]

380/3/1:

Black, perhaps fifteen, in jeans, sneakers, and a dirty white shirt, the

[Insert comma after "sneakers".]

380/5/3:

for brown and white. They'll think I'm still half asleep! he hoped

[Change "They will" to "They'll". Do not capitalize the "h" in "he".]

380/5/4:

hoped desperately, his boot scraping the roof's tarpaper. Morning was

[Delete the hyphen in "tar-paper" and tie up.]

383/1/3:

that one, like a great maze—forever adjustable, therefore unlearnable . . .

[Change the second long-dash (at line's end) to a three-point ellipsis.]

383/2/2:

green-drab wool shirt with no collar. Lumbering from the alley side-

[Delete comma after "green-drab".]

386/3/1:

To come upon the monastery? Yes, now, whatever it was, whatever.

[Should be “whatever” (not “what ever”).]

401/4/4:

you was around here.” Thirteen nodded heavily, his voice roughened

[Replace question mark after “here” with period.]

401/4/6:

room and, while he urinated, busied himself not thinking about when

[Insert comma after "and".]

407:

“’Cause Copperhead’s big and dumb,” Nightmare said. “Now I like Copperhead. He’s big, dumb, and mean. The Kid’s small and smart. But I bet he’s just as mean as Copperhead.”

[Combine paragraphs 4 and 5 into a single paragraph.]

409/6/1:

After a second, Kid said, “Your girlfriend doesn’t like me very

[Make “girl friend” one word.]

415/1/5:

curious about your . . . city. But sometime soon, ask me about what

[Make "some time" one word.]

415/13/2:

I wasn’t there, you should be finding out what’s been going on here.”

[Make “was” into “wasn’t”.]

415/15/1:

“I’ve been balling these two, for one thing. That seemed like days . . .”

[Start this line with “I’ve”, rather than “I”.]

416/3/2:

But what we were doing—" she shrugged—"it isn't me." She got down

[Change comma after "doing" to a one-M dash. Change semi-colon after "shrugged" to a one-M dash. Make "It" lower case. ]

421/12/4:

Asinorum. So, another celebrity leaves, loved. But Bellona, it

[Correct spelling of "Asinorum" in excerpt.]

423/13/2:

brows lift. "Well, I guess turnabout is fair play."

[Make "turn about" one word.]

424/18/1:

Lanya had leaned closer. "They are pretty!"

[Italicize "are".]

430/13/1:

“Hey . . .?” Kid asked.

[Insert three point ellipsis and replace “said” with “asked.”]

431/21/1:

Denny said: "It sure is quiet. Maybe everybody went out."

[Italicize "is".]

435/14/2:

he whispered to Smokey beneath his arm, "let's get out of here. This ain't

[Two changes: 1) change "go" to "get"; and 2) insert "of" after "out".]

435/15/1:

"I want to watch!" she insisted. "I want to watch!"

[While retaining italicization of "watch", change exclamation-point to roman type.]

437/11/1:

“I gotta eat,” Kid said, “first, I think.” Then he took the whole bottle any-

[After "said", change period to a comma. Make “F” lower case on “First”.]

438/8/1:

Denny frowned, shrugged, said, "Okay," and wormed loose.

[Insert "said," (with comma) after "shrugged,".]

439/2/2:

plate; and talking about, not to, him: "You mean him over there? He

[Insert comma after "to".]

451/5/1-2:

Someone said: "You haven't been with the space program a-
while . . . ?"

[Two changes: 1) Change period to a colon after "said"; and 2) at line's end, insert a hyphen after "a", thus making "a while" one word—i.e., because line 1 is so loose, break "awhile" between lines 1 and 2.]

451/16/1:

"Are you here in any official capacity?" asked another woman.

[Change "connection" to "capacity".]

453/4/1:

"Christ, I—" The bartender brought Tak's bottle. "What did I do?"

[Italicize the second "I".]

454/15/1:

"I read some of it at Roger's, though. But if I started asking ques-

[Two changes: 1) insert "it at" after "of"; and 2) delete "copy" and tie up.]

457/8/5:

on TV, people stopped talking, I guess—people don't talk about it

[Italicize "don't".]

457/10/1:

"They . . . refer to it," Kamp said. "You can be sitting around somebody's

[Insert three-point ellipsis after "They". Paragraph will re-wrap.]

458/9/1:

Tak was talking with someone by the door. Unshaven, and a little

[Change the colon after "door" to a period.]

463/6/5:

megalight, now, under the one unfrosted bulb, lay outlined and ir-

[Delete comma after "one".]

472/1/2:

hand.

[Change "palm" to "hand".]

480/5/6:

part of that, someplace else. Like here.” He looked up at the balcony

[“some place” should be “someplace”.]

487/5/1:

When they crossed Jackson, Kid said, "I want to go back to the

[Change "asked" to "said".]

494/3/3:

over beans and vegetable hash with spam. Wally Efrin? (The short-hair

[Change the semi-colon after "spam" to a period.]

514/24/7:

distills an anger, dribbling bitter, back of the throat, a substance for

[Insert two commas, one before “dribbling”, one before “back”.]

516/7/2:

signs on the Page Glass Company . . .? When I looked down, I saw a

[Insert a three dot ellipsis between “Company” and question mark.]

531/2/8:

Structures—though all three men have written much longer

[Tie-up long-dash with "though".]

534/1/2:

out somebody he knew had died); in the hollow remains, he

[Two changes: 1) insert semi-colon after "died)"; 2) delete "and".]

543/5/1:

“Me! Why me?” (The three scorpions who came through the room

[The second “me” should be followed by a question mark rather than an exclamation point.]

577/3/1:

"Yeah," Kid said. "Probably. I was sitting in the John at Teddy's

[Change period after "Yeah" to comma.]

578/14/1:

"When I came in," Kid said, "everybody was sitting around having

[Correct spelling of "said".]

582/16/2:

erect; but as he raised his head to look down at himself, he felt it soften.

[Change “him” to “himself”.]

596/1/1:

"No ma'am," Siam answered. "Not much. Anymore. But I thought

[Make "Any more" one word.]

596/16/1:

"That one . . . ?" Madame Brown nodded ahead with a deep frown

[Add "e" to end of "Madame".]

597/19/2:

caught up to him, he grinned. "I wasn't." He put his arm around her

[Italicize "I".]

618/12/2:

ing what in all that interchange had interested Denny most. But as

[Change "what of all" to "what in all".]

627/15/2:

say dumb, just non-verbal—guy who probably isn't too concerned

[Change "that" to "who".]

643/9/1:

"Sure. You can carry it, too."

[Insert comma, and add "o" to "too".]

646/2/5:

and defeat their terms by terminus. The night? What of it? It is filled

[Change the period after "it" to a question-mark.]

649/9/1:

"Watch it!" George pushed Kid away, but Kid wasn't sure from

[Change comma after "it" to an exclamation-point.]

661/1/1:

more anxious not to

[Italicize "more".]

668/5/1:

Tom, Red, Mak. "I'm curious to see whether you guys will like it

[Change "Mark" to "Mak".]

669/4/5:

for balance, were bloated the way some winos' get. He started to speak.

[It should be "winos' " (plural possessive noun) and not "wino's".]

676/13/1:

She was making a sound for all the world like flannel torn near

[Remove "a" before "flannel".]

678/5/1:

"Get out of here," Copperhead said. "This is water. She asked me

[Replace colon after "said" with period.]

688/7/3:

things weren't gonna be like everywhere else. I was real nice to peo-

[Make "every where" one word.]

692/1/8:

nigger, I'm responsible for the riot, for the whole thing,

[Delete the phrase "from the roof," (including the comma). Paragraph will re-wrap significantly; please be careful that broken words elsewhere in the paragraph do not retain their hyphens when re-wrapped.]

694/5/6:

Caucasians in the

[Capitalize the "c" in "Caucasians".]

696/9/2:

in silhouette would turn on a bright hippogryph, a manticore; some

[Correct spelling of “manticore.”]

624/15/4:

But I don’t just think you can be that kind of artist anymore. Lots of

[Make “any more” one word.]

641/7/1:

Kid doused so that Lanya could see him. She caught his

[Change “long enough for” to “so that”. Rrewrap if necessary.]

665/5/5:

in jeans—holes in both

[Insert “in” between “holes” and “both”. Rewrap if necessary.]

679/12/3:

enough; I’d stuck the break in the wrong place. The actual word I’d

[Replace “brake” with “break”.]

689/6/6:

the fuckin’ army and I just been there for a God-damn year and a half.

[Put a hyphen in “God-damn”.]

692/1/12:

mean, three or four times. Right in this bar. With Tak. He

[Put an “s” on the end of “times” to make it plural.]

697/1/4:

neck, the stagger in my one-boot walk—from the inside. Lampposts

[Make "Lamp posts" one word.]

700/10/1:

The door frame

[Insert space in “doorframe”.]

701/6th rubric/10:

and we staggered to the Emboriky, daring

[Correct spelling of "Emboriky".]

715/6/5:

19-A, and leave you there!"

[Change "nineteen-A" to "19-A".]

717/15/2:

about tricking with a creep like that.”

[Change question mark to a period.]

720/1st rubric/1:

boriky (with Jack, wouldn't you know, being that

[Replace "i" with "y" at the end of "boriki".]

724/16/2&3:

down as it could get; “now I don’t know whether I’m that much
like you,” and up again.

[Two changes: 1) in line two, replace comma after “get” with a semicolon; 2) in line three, replace question mark after “you” with a comma.]

725/13/2:

tention back, "you have to be very polite: when we live this close.

[Lowercase "w" in "When".]

731[second rubric]/1/4:

in the oozy gyres incarnadine). She won't run

[Delete apostrophe from "gyre's" and tie up.]

732[rubric]/2/9:

Horripilation, Factotum, Susquehanna, Summer-

[Insert a second "n" after the first "n" in "Susquehana".]

732[rubric]/2/10:

fine day. It's all the same in the bitch's kitchen.

[Two changes: 1) replace the hyphen in "fine-day" with a word-space; and 2) lowercase "i" in "In".]

735[rubric]/1/8:

burned trees on Brisbain. They are moments

[Corrects spelling of “Brisbane” to the above.]

736/3/8:

flaking around it. "Yes?" he asked. "Can I help you?"

[Replace period after “Yes” with question mark.]

741/4/10:

I’m a poet . . . anymore, Mr. Calkins. I’m not sure if I ever was one.

[Close up “any more” to “anymore”.]

746/5/1:

"In the state-approved religion, the governor is God's appointed

[Insert hyphen to join "state" and "approved".]

754/2/11:

have cast double shadows of the windowsills upon the floors to a place

[Make “window sills” “windowsills”.]

755/2nd rubric/3:

the Emboriky. Don't even want to write about

[Change "i" to "y" at the end of "Embroriki".]

756[left-hand rubric]/1/5:

dral, Revelation and Fireball had brought the

[Change the second "and" to "had".]

756/1/8:

will have become trivial. (It is Troy, Sodom, Çatal Höyük, the City

[Correct the spelling of "Çatal Höyük".]

757/4/2:

gut or throat for entrance.

I said, "Unnn . . ."

[Put period after "entrance". Break paragraph before "I said,".]

758/4/3:

hung quivering over the red. Firelight dripped down the blades.

[Make "Fire light" one word.]

759[rubric]/8/2:

I had dinner with last night?”

[Follow “night” by a question mark rather than a period.]

760/3/3:

(Thinking: There's

[Capital "T" in "thinking".]

762/5/3:

with yellow, bubbled Scotch tape. There are two

[Make “Scotch tape” two words.]

773/3/5:

pital. But as you say, there aren't any mental hospitals in Bellona any-

[Insert hyphen after second "any" (thus making "any more" one word).]

776/6/2:

provide us with at least thirty-six hours' solid conversation." She

[Insert apostrophe after "hours".]

779/last line on the page (not including rubric text):

cle. Manticore and

[Delete the "h" from "Mantichore" and tie up.]

786[rubric]/1/21:

erend Amy—knows where they all went or

[Change “know” to knows”.]

791[rubric]/16/1-3:

"Lanya said you weren't writing too much
at your place, either. She said she thought
there were too many people around."

[Re-set the entire paragraph so that it reads precisely as given above. Six changes: On line one: 1) insert open-quote before "Lanya"; 2) delete comma after "said"; 3) delete open-quote before "You"; 4) lowercase "y" in "You"; On line two: 5) delete close-quote after "either."; and on line three: 6) insert close-quote after "around."]

793/16/2:

mouth, hesitant to quiet me, pinch her own lips closed, or push me

[Change "close" to "closed".]

797/5/1:

Metal steps led up to the bridge's pedestrian walk. The first half

[Change "lead" to "led".]

799/1/1:

"I just want to get some place!" Fireball said. "I don't feel right,

[Make "someplace" two words and italicize "some".]

800/1/2:

weight on one hip. She wore heavy hiking shoes, one a lot muddier

[Remove comma after “heavy”.]

Locations in the text where "a while" should be "awhile":

7/1/2, 175/18/1, 305/1/21, 753/14/2

 

Locations in the text where "boy friend" should be "boyfriend":

212/10/2, 465/2/2, 664/11/1

 

Locations in the text where "girl friend" should be "girlfriend":

285/5/3, 327/5/1, 371/3/1, 378/3/8, 378/7/8, 394/5/2, 399/2/2, 399/20/2, 401/4/2, 465/1/6, 465/2/1-2, 473/4/1, 494/3/8, 551/13/1, 664/9/1, 688/7/1, 690/1/2

 

Locations in the text where "God damn" should be "Goddamn":

376/6/1, 794/12/1, 795/1/1, 795/1/2, 795/3/3, 795/3/10

 

Locations in the text where an appropriately-sized space needs to be inserted between a word and the first point of the 3-point ellipsis that follows it:

41/6/2, 49/8/2, 50/8/1

 

Note on “Mr” and Mrs” in Dhalgren (December 16, 2003):

The last rewrite of Dhalgren was done in 1972 and '73 when I lived in London (in 21 Paddington Street), England. The hired typists (mostly Ginny Reddington, though there were at least two others for parts of the manuscript) naturally conformed to the British convention of using no period after honorific abbreviations. (For a more detailed history of the MS of Dhalgren, see “In the Once-Upon-A-Time City” in 1984: Selected Letters, [pp. 336–41, Doc. 54].) “When the manuscript was sent to Bantam Books in New York, I just assumed that the copy editor would bring the MS in line with the American convention of using periods.

When the galleys were returned, however, it had not been done.

Inserting periods throughout the MS would have involved moving too much text around. Thus the original paperback had no periods after “Mr” and “Mrs”. When the MS was taken over by Wesleyan University Press, again I assumed (and even asked) that the American convention be observed. It wasn't. The same thing happened when Vintage Books produced their edition, using the original Wesleyan tapes—even though (indeed because) a number of other corrections were put in at that time: inserting the periods would have doubled their number.

For what it's worth, my own preference was and still is to have the book printed with periods.

—S.R.D.

 

Last update to this page made on 10 Sep 2012, adding 2 corrections at 793/16/2, and 797/5/1.